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  • Writer's pictureSusannah Shannon

Who defines kink?

I got an ig message from someone who considers herself an expert on all facets of bdsm. She introduced herself as a high protocol slave who had been trained by experts in Germany. Let's call her The Subbiest Sub That Ever Subbed (TSSTES). TSSTES was worried that my books give people an inauthentic sense of what power exchange relationships shoudl be. My doms arent domly enough, apparently and she knows becasue she of the OG(Old Guard- although perhaps Original Gangster, too). didn't I see that I was doing damage to the kink community? she went on to say that the OG hates TNG(The New Generation) since we don't show proper respect for the traditions, protocols and culture of BDSM. (sick of acronyms, yet?) TSSTES argued that there is only one way to use terms like "sub," "power exchange" and "kink" and they were her way. I will confess that I rolled my eyes. I cannot be the only one who hears "trained in Germany by expert doms who for some reason pictures Hans and Dieter from SNL. Just me? oh well- I said that I think that as long as the person you are with understands what you mean, those words can be whatever the hell you want them to mean. I went on to say that I wonder if people arent so releived to hear that there are words for their desires( the shame carried by so many of us is real and can be debilitating) that they think "THAT'S what I am" and begin to use those terms.

She conceded that I might have a point, but went on to say that she would never recommend my books to anyone. Oh well, can't win 'em all...

I'd love to hear what anyone else thinks-

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